Realizing your marriage has reached its end can be one of the toughest things you will ever go through. No one gets married expecting to eventually get divorced, but it happens to people every day. The only thing you can do after accepting your marriage is over is to start moving on and adjust to your new normal. This, however, is easier said than done. It’s important to know your options during a divorce, and a Des Moines divorce lawyer can help you figure that out.

Getting Divorced in Iowa

Finding out your marriage is over is going to hurt. It’s an emotional ride you may not be fully prepared to take. As you navigate the highly emotional divorce process, you might make mistakes. You’re going to second-guess your decisions. You’re going to wonder what you could’ve done differently or whether you could’ve saved your marriage.

These thoughts are understandable, but it’s crucial that you work toward healing and maintaining a sound mind during this big life change. Otherwise, you could lose big time during your divorce proceedings.

Your first step should be hiring a divorce lawyer to represent your interests. Whether you are the one serving the papers or the one being served, you may not immediately know what to do once the divorce process begins. If your divorce is contested, you are going to be especially wracked with emotion and anger. You may want to look into some coping mechanisms to help you balance the heavy emotions you are going to have through this tumultuous process.

However, keep in mind that you are not the only one who will be affected by your divorce. Depending on how long you have been married, your divorce may affect your job performance, your circle of friends, and any children you may have. A divorce is not just signing your name on a legal document. It’s a systemic removal of your spouse from your life that includes separating your finances and working out child custody arrangements. A lawyer can help.

According to data from the CDC, the divorce rate in Iowa is fairly low when compared to the national rate. In 2022, the divorce rate in Iowa was only 2.0 per 1,000 residents. While this is comparatively low, it doesn’t mean divorce is a rare occurrence in Iowa. If you are struggling with your divorce, check out local Des Moines divorce support groups, such as DivorceCare or Second Saturday Divorce Workshops. Talking to someone can help you process your emotions.

Important Tips to Consider in Your Divorce

As you work toward emerging from your divorce as unscathed as possible, you may be so focused on the big picture that you lose sight of the smaller things you have to deal with regarding your divorce. It’s important to find time to manage your own emotional health throughout this difficult situation. Here are some important tips for taking care of yourself as you navigate your divorce:

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Going through a divorce can be one of the most traumatic events of your life. It may have been triggered by something painful, like infidelity or abuse, or it may have been the natural result of years of resentment and dissatisfaction. Either way, it’s going to hurt, and you should surround yourself with people who care about you and want to help.Friends, family, colleagues, and more can be beneficial through this. Local support groups may provide a welcoming environment of like-minded individuals who share in your struggle.
  • Make sure you establish clear boundaries. A divorce is a clear ending to a relationship, but that may not stop your ex from trying to involve themselves in your life. Distancing yourself can be particularly difficult if you have to co-parent with them.Still, it’s important that you establish and enforce boundaries. Since you are no longer married, your spouse doesn’t have the right to expect anything from you beyond civility, and that’s up to you.

FAQs

Q: Is Divorce the Right Decision for Me?

A: It’s entirely up to you to decide if divorce is the right decision for you. Nobody knows your thoughts and feelings towards your marriage better than you. If you feel like your marriage has run its course and there’s no way to salvage the relationship you once had, you may want to seriously consider reaching out to a lawyer and filing for divorce. If you and your spouse can work things out, there may be hope for salvaging your relationship.

Q: How Is Child Custody Decided in Iowa?

A: In Iowa, child custody is determined by the family court. If you and your partner are able to work out a custody agreement that is mutually beneficial, the court will consider your request. However, the court ultimately decides what is right for the child in question. That’s their top priority. If they have to ignore your request to make sure the child is put into a nurturing and safe environment, they will.

Q: How Are Assets Divided in Iowa?

A: In Iowa, assets are divided in a divorce using a method of equitable distribution. This ensures that each spouse receives a fair amount of the marital assets. A fair amount may not always mean an equal amount. The court determines what is fair by considering many different factors, such as the total length of the marriage, individual contributions to the marriage, and each spouse’s current financial situation.

Q: How Important Is a Lawyer for My Divorce?

A: Depending on your situation, a lawyer may be indispensable for your divorce. If your divorce is uncontested and you are working everything out with your spouse, you may not need to hire a divorce lawyer to represent you. However, if your divorce is contested and you are afraid of losing assets, finances, or even child custody, you need a lawyer. The right lawyer can make all the difference, especially when your case gets argumentative and emotional.

Contact a Lawyer Today

At Stange Law Firm, we can help you make a plan for your divorce and figure out your next move. Contact us to speak to someone about your case.